Have Fun.. Be Safe… Be Smart

What to DO and Not To DO when using an online dating program.

FaithMate.com offers a fun, safe environment that gives YOU control over your dating experience, but the following tips can help to ensure a fun, safe experience:

• DO guard your financial information and beware of solicitation: You’re on FaithMate.com for dating not for financial advice or charitable contributions. Also, notify us immediately if another member asks for money, attempts to sell any merchandise or service, or sends you links to a pay-to-view site or instructions about how to call a 1-900 number.
• DO protect your identity: Don't share your real name, personal phone numbers, or any other identifying information while Instant Messaging or emailing until you are comfortable doing so.
• DO block abusers: FaithMate.com STRONGLY encourages you to block any member who behaves in an abusive manner and to report the behavior to FaithMate.com. You can block users and report concerns directly from your profile or theirs.
• DO trust your gut: Immediately quit IMing when you feel unsure or threatened.
• Do keep a record of your conversations. If you are uncomfortable with an IM exchange, remember to click the “Save to file” link on your IM window. FaithMate.com does not keep a record of your IMs.

See below for more great tips to ensure your safety on and off the information super highway.

Finding a loving, faithful long-term relationship is possible online. FaithMate.com offers a fun, safe environment that gives YOU control over your dating experience and allows you to progress at your own pace in order to establish a healthy relationship—whether it's just a casual friendship or a passionate, lasting romance.

Keeping in mind that to grow any relationship you have to give a little to get a little, we also want you to exercise caution. Don't be afraid to make connections. With a little caution and common sense you should be able to avoid meeting people that are untrustworthy.

TIPS FOR MAKING A GOOD ONLINE IMPRESSION

1. KEEP IT REAL: One of the great temptations of online personal ads is to embellish the truth about you. Don’t flub on your age, height, weight, etc. If you lie, it will be found out by your date anyway, and dishonesty is an absolute deal-breaker. Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. Eph 4:25

2. KEEP IT LIGHT: In the beginning, keep it light and friendly. Online messages are NOT an appropriate place for providing your entire life story or unloading about your past hurts and current emotional state of being. For now, just give that to God. You’re dialoguing with a potential mate, not Dear Abby.

3. KEEP IT SHORT: Also, keep it short and simple. No one wants to read a ten page opening email. We are all so inundated with email nowadays, that anytime we see one that requires we scroll down the page, it often gets deleted.

4. KEEP IT FOCUSED: Don’t send out generic sounding messages or mass emails (i.e. SPAM). Try to pick out specific points from the person’s profile and write an interesting, quirky message including those tidbits. If you’re dialoguing with multiple people, write original messages to each person.

5. KEEP IT SANE: Don't bombard your potential online mate with message after message. It is annoying and stalker-like behavior. If they haven’t responded, move on. Desperation leads to isolation. Live in harmony with one another. Rom 12:16

6. KEEP IT COURTEOUS: As a courtesy, you should respond to everyone who writes to you, even if you are not interested. Come up with a standard response like; "Thanks for writing. After reviewing your profile, I don't believe we're a good match. Thanks, and God bless you." It’s just nice and you would want others to give you the same respect. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Rom 12:10

7. KEEP IT PRIVATE: Don't pass on or ask for contact numbers or addresses in the first few messages. Protect your privacy and respect theirs. …be therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves. MT. 10:16b

8. KEEP IT CURRENT: A beautiful, clear photo is not just part of the ad, it’s everything. If you post a bad photo (as in dark, blurry, taken in your bedroom mirror on your cell, etc) on your profile, you will be disappointed by the lack of response.

9. KEEP IT HOLY: No overly sexy or cleavage-heavy photos, which will attract the wrong kind of customer. Yes, even on Christian dating sites. …make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. Rom 14:13

10. KEEP IT LOOSE: Don’t post a strict laundry list of rules and traits that you need your potential mate to follow/have. Remain open-minded, flexible and fun towards others and you won’t turn people off. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Rom 15:7

11. KEEP IT HUMBLE: Don’t seem self-absorbed! Focus on what you bring to the table in addition to what you expect from potential mates.

12. KEEP IT BUBBLY: Be upbeat and interesting in your responses. Ask a few specific questions that require more than a simple yes or no response to stimulate further conversation. Nobody likes a boring stick in the mud.

13. KEEP IT INTEGRAL: Yes, ladies want to be taken care of. But, don’t catalog your grocery list of financial obligations in a mate, or you may come across as a shallow gold-digger. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well. Mt 6:33

14. KEEP IT DISCREET: God wants us to be fruitful and multiply. But, even if your number one priority in life is to become a parent, it’s probably a good idea to save any talk about having children until later. The fastest way to an empty inbox is to start discussing those five kids you want to start having yesterday.

15. KEEP IT EDUCATED: And, remember kids: spell-check is free.

And last but not least BE SMART! IF someone asks you for money, whether it’s to help a sick relative, pay for a plane ticket because they’ve been abandoned in a foreign country, or help them get money released from an inheritance - CHANCES are it’s a scam.

10 TIPS FOR A FIRST DATE (AND HOPEFULLY SUBSEQUENT ONES!)

Here are some tips we thought would helpful.

1. NEVER BE LATE (men!!) – Always give yourself enough time to get ready. It’s usually best to make a first date on a Saturday night because you’re less likely to be rushed. Who wants to go on a first date at the end of a hectic work week? Scheduling a date on the weekend will also give you some time to unwind and pray before the date. Most importantly, you will be ready on time!
2. RELAX – Dating should be fun. While it’s okay (and prudent) to have your spiritual antennas up, it’s also okay to relax and enjoy yourself. On a first date you want to be easy going; a person whose fun to hang out with. With dates, too serious too soon is a good way to make that first date the last one.
3. BE CONFIDENT – Even if you’re not feeling 100% on your first date, behave like you do. Remember, you’re 100% in Christ, so walk in that confidence. Don’t put yourself down, and only be self-deprecating if that’s part of your sense of humor. You have reason to be confident (not arrogant), you’re a Christian!
4. NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS – Always look for the good in the other person. They’re going through things just like you are. It’s called life. Add glaring “red flags” to your mental checklist, but don’t make assumptions of minor infractions. They’re nervous just like you.
5. MAKE EYE CONTACT & SMILE – There really isn’t much to be said about this one, but believe me, this action speaks volumes. Stay alerted and interested.
6. HOLD YOUR TONGUE – Refrain from telling your date everything. Save something for later. Share your life story like it’s a junior high essay (a couple of 8-sentence paragraphs), not an epic novel. Do more listening than talking. From a spiritual perspective, you’ll discern a lot more from the date if you listen rather than blab the whole night.
7. ACCEPT & GIVE COMPLIMENTS – Both of these actions show that you’re confident. Don’t be overly flirtatious or condescending, but punctuate the date with a few compliments, and graciously accept them when given. The Bible speaks often of building others up with words. There’s no better way to bring out the best in a person than to speak fondly of them.
8. EMPHASIZE YOUR SIMILARITIES – When you come across a topic of similar interest during a conversation, let the dialogue flow. Avoid being dismissive of things the other person says or feels strongly about. The last thing you want to do is get into an argument on a first date. Many a first dates that never became romantic turned out to be great friendships. There’s always room in your life for more friends who share your values & beliefs.
9. DON’T DISCUSS PROBLEMS – Save the “drama talk” for your momma or best friend. Never use a first date as a therapy session. Gossip, whining and complaining will only poison a first date, and will likely make future dating possibilities null & void.
10. EXPECT THE BEST – Don’t go into a first date looking for things to go wrong. The worst thing that can happen is a bad date can be chalked up as experience. And at least you’ll have a revelation of who isn’t Mr. or Mrs. Right. The Bible tells us that our expectation and hope should come from the Lord. With that in mind, you should go on your first date believing Romans 8:28: that regardless of how it turns out, it’s going to work together for your good!

Tips For Dating

We all know how important it is to put God first in your life. A Christian marriage takes serious preparation. Read the Bible; attend a church. Study God's wisdom for marriage, husbands and wives. The Bible gives us one very important instruction in this area, and that is to be "equally yoked". (II Corinthians 6:14) Study and understand what this really means!

KNOW THY SELF Take the time to make any necessary changes YOU may need so that you can become a good partner to someone. Happiness will never come in marriage if you’re not first happy with yourself.

KNOW THY NEEDS You must know what your needs are so that you can communicate them to a potential partner. These are the things you cannot compromise on! Ask your partner what his/her needs are. Find out whether the two of you can meet these needs for each other. We can't even begin to tell you how important this really is! If a potential partner cannot meet your needs during the courting stage, there’s no way he/she will meet them during marriage.

KNOW THY SIGNS Learn to accept the red flags that come up while dating. The realization that someone you’re dating is not your "special someone" is half the battle. You could spend a lifetime trying to make a relationship work that was never designed to work. Everyone has good and bad qualities. Just because you may not be suited for someone does not mean that that person would not be a great partner for someone else! If it's not "right", respect yourself and that person enough to let go. The longer you wait, the harder it is to detach. Both of you deserve to be with the right person, and have happy lives.

KNOW THY FEARS Don't live in fear about the possibilities that you may be single in your lifetime. Fear breeds insanity while dating! And no one wants to marry an insane person. Your needs won't matter at all! You will make extremely foolish decisions if this fear takes over. Fill your life with the things are fulfilling. Give it to God and LEAVE it with HIM!

KNOW THY LIMITS Excessive abusers: functioning alcoholics, weekend binger's, substance abusers, etc., and the like, are "UNAVAILABLE" for committed relationships. These individuals need help and disease makes them, for the moment, unable to sustain a healthy relationship. It is impossible by God's standards to worship anything above Him! God must always come first! This type of "relationship" will only lead to continual hurt. Always encourage, as much as possible, that they seek the help they so deserve, so that one day they can experience the life that God has intended for them. For Christian Resources for recovery on the internet, go to Christians In Recovery

KNOW THY FRIENDS Seek wise counsel to assist you in making the right decision. Marriage is A COMMITMENT, for LIFE. You owe it to yourself to choose wisely.

Finding the right mate and making a lifetime commitment to that person is a wonderful gift from God. Allow these tools, and others to help you begin your journey towards lifelong, permanent relationships!


God Bless.